Excuse me ma'am, but...

Do you ever get those cravings to do something totally immature? Take for example: Chugging a half gallon of Vanilla flavored soy milk and spinning in circles until you throw up? Yeah, last weekend was definitely the high light of my life. Anyways, my day has been full of those. During yearbook today, I threatened to push a chair into someone, just because they were invading my personal space. In english, I sniggered violently at a phrase that would have been perfect for a that's what she said joke. In fourth period, I pulled some girls hair while explaining "They obviously aren't extensions because they didn't grow as a pulled." And now, after asking my most faithful servant Alisha to grab me a can of soda and dust every inch of my house, I am writing about my most recent immature action. Sitting here, bored, I was just skimming Youtube for some clips of people getting hit in the groin with a sludge hammer, and girls who can't figure out that you shouldn't jump on a treadmill that is already moving, when I came across the best movie scene ever. I decided to call up Amanda and ask if her refrigerator was running. When she responds with know, my best option was to say "Let it run free" and hang up the phone! It's not the dumbest thing i've come up with, but it's down there. After my first attempt at being stupid succeeded/failed, I decide I would try another one. Next I asked "Excuse me ma'am, but do you have prince Albert...in a can?" I knew it worked perfectly when she said no, leaving me free to say the punch line "Then you better let him out!" And I guess in order for Amanda to regain her ego, she would have to call me with a knock knock joke, but I was prepared to throw the line "Your shoes' untied" at her and hang up. Now, if only I had blood red hair with a liquid white paper face, and wearing yellow over-alls with a blue shirt beneath, it would make it this much better!

Hello, Ni Hao, and Hola!

Dear Readers,

I'm back! I apologize that I have not kept in touch. I was on vacation down at the Mexico-China border. Yes indeed, it does exist. Last night, Panda Express held it's Christmas party. I was told to bring some sort of food or I won't be let in. Simple enough. I just whipped up some delicious taffy and was on my way. When I arrive, my manager informs me that the only reason we were invited was because they had to use our store. That's okay, isn't it? I quickly come to realize, as people keep shuffeling in, that this will not be a Christmas party, but a traditional Fiesta de Navidad... inside of a chinese restaurant! I was one of the four caucasion people to show up, and can I just tell you, it is so wonderful to sit at the minority table! Well, when the Fiesta starts, the host of the party, Monica, asks the minority table if it will be okay if she speaks spanish. Is that not impolite? Did we not lend you our store for this party? I slaved over the stove making taffy with Betty Crocker for hours to come to this!? Regardless of the fact that we didn't understand what was being said, the fiesta was great! There was much food, dancing, music, and a little bit of tequila (you just can't have a fiesta without some of the good stuff). I apologize if my writing is a little sloppy, I currently am suffering due to a hang over. Señoras y caballeros, recepción a México!

Half a Day at Grandma's House

On Saturday, I spent half of my day chillin' with Amanda at Grandma DeLanges house. Let's start out with waking up. At 8:53 in the AM, I received a phone call from Shanna, rushing me to the neighbors house to feed the dogs, then let them outside. After that, I was told by Amanda that I should go to Grandma's house and hang out with her. I agreed and started the fifteen minute journey to WVC, home of the Utah Grizzlies, Hale Center Theatre, and the Mall of Ghetto America: Valley Fair Mall. When I got there, I found that no one was home and that I should welcome Grandma back to her house (keep in mind that she hasn't been home for a couple of weeks due to knee surgery). I plastered her house with sticky notes that said "Welcome Home Grandma. Love, Mitchell. Aren't I just the cutest thing ever? When Amanda and Grandma got there, grandma suggests getting real food, which is fast food in her terms. So Amanda and I go to Arby's, well, we got in the car to go to Arby's. Amanda grabbed a coke on the way out of the house. I wanted some because I was parched. So I take a little sip, I burp myself, and vomit shoots out of my mouth. It wasn't really vomit, just the foam that stays in your throat when you drink coke.








THEN we left for Arby's. As we come up to the intersection to make a left turn, Amanda starts showing off one of her trophies she got three years ago! Little did she realize that we were sitting in the middle of the intersection and our light just turned red! I just started to laugh and she finally came to her senses and pulled us out of what could have been a terrible death (but knowing that it was West Valley, that wasn't terrible at all)! We arrive, safely, at Arby's order the food, then we have to wait for our food to get done. While waiting for our food, we see a crappy car with a personalized license plate that says "JILLZ".


That's when Amanda thought it would be safe to shout at them "If you're going to have a personalized license plate, at least get a nice car to put it on!" I ducked down waiting for gun fire to ring out in the parking lot. Sadly, it didn't come because I had to witness another horrific scene brought to me by Amanda. She stopped at a green light on the way home! It is completely green! Not sea green or olive green, but GREEN! Hahaha. It made me laugh harder than the mishap in the intersection. I started expecting her to drive in the left lane, but that didn't happen. I'm surprised that i'm still alive today. When we got back to grandmas, I received a phone call from Abby informing me that she was coming home. I was so excited I nearly burped and threw up...AGAIN! So Abby came home later in the day and my whole circle of friends was complete. No one was missing. Life was bliss.

Three Weeks, One Blog Post

Hello everyone. I know I haven't blogged since the 5th of July, so this is the post that catches you up on everything from July 6th to July 25th. It all starts back when a beautiful princess and a handsome prince were parted...



Sunday, July 6th: Madi left for Michigan for a three week long debate camp. My life sucked.



Monday, July 7th: Melissa Murray's birthday. I sent her a "Happy Birthday" text message. Jason and I went couch shopping for a couch to place in the SBO room. It proved to be unsuccesful and proved Jason's dancing skills to be absolutely terrible!




Tuesday, July 8th: I packed for SBO camp down at Dixie State College after thoroughly cleaning my room and mowing the lawn.



Wednesday, July 9th: Woke up at 6:00 AM to get ready for Dixie Camp. On the way down, we all got out at a gas station. Unfortunately, we had to share the bathroom with the Brighton SBO's and Lone Peak High school's 50, excuse me, 45 SBO's. Don't get the number wrong or they will yell at you (seriously). At the gas station, Jason, Sam, and I were just chilling in the pharmacy aisle when a girl from Lone Peak started looking for something on the shelf behind Jason. That's when I thought it would be funny and say: "Move Jason! She's buying condoms!" So, Jason does as he was instructed and to my horror, it was not a girl from Lone Peak. It was Katie Jones, my advisor. "S-s-sorry Katie" I mumbled, "I thought you were a girl from Lone Peak." I'm surprised I even got that much explaining out! Right then, it seemed as if Katie was controlled by Satan as the ground shook, her voice got deeper, and she says "Get out!" The three of us just stand there, starting too laugh when her voice got much louder, and much deeper, "Seriously, get out!" We rush out the door, drop on the oil stained asphault, and laugh the hardest any of us have laughed in our entire life! After a couple minutes of laughing, we start to walk back in the gas station and Katie stops us and asks us "Why are you going back in?" I don't even remember our excuse but it worked. That was the last of the greatness of that day.



Friday, July 11th: Britt and I did a photo shoot with the shower caps the hotel provided us with.



Let's fast forward so it doesn't take you three days to read this one single post...

Sunday, July 13th: Abby leaves for debate camp. My life sucks even more.


Monday, July 14th: Jason and I set up a meeting with all of the SBO's to plan some stuff like homecoming and our opening movie. On our way into Bingham, I saw Mekenzie and it happened to be her birthday. I wished her a happy birthday and went and did some filming.



Monday, July 21st: In the football program for Bingham, they have a picture of the SBO's dressed up in their blazers, so we thought that monday would be a good time to take that picture. After we took the picture, a couple people went home, and we grew tired of doing work, we turned on some jams (mainly the song called "Too Cool") and found ourselves pole dancing with a PVC pipe. Warning: Video posted below not intended for viewing by minors.



Today we also filmed part of our opening SBO movie, which includes Michael, looking like he only has one leg, falling back in his wheelchair. It was a great success!



Tuesday, July 22nd: I called into work to get my hours (which I thought would be on saturday) and to my surprise, I actually got scheduled into work that day!



Wednesday, July 23rd: I went into work today. We also left to Yuba Lake this day as well.



Friday, July 25th: I came home from Yuba Lake this day so I could pick Madi up from the airport! She was finally coming home! So I got her sister, Bailey, and we (Jason was in the car as well, although he didn't talk) drove to the airport. We got Madi, went to Wal-Mart to buy bailey a cell phone charger then went home. When we arrived at Madi's house, the whole family that was at the 4th of July party was there, except for one person... Aunt Veda! I was devestated.



That sums those three weeks up fairly well.

Happy Birthday America!

As you all know, we just celebr4ted (muahahahahahahahah) our countries day of independence...The 4th of July! It was amazing! Madi invited me, Abby, and Lauren to go spend the day up in Park City at her grandparents house. Lauren had work, so she was sadly left out. After waking up at eight thirty and only running on six hours of sleep, anything seems funny to my brain. We went to the parade up there, which was a real hoot and a holler. Many people you see there are the kind of people you would see battling a midget with a fish on the upcoming episode of Jerry Springer entitled "My wife just cheated on me in the gutter of my trailer park." After that party, we went back to Grandma and Grandpa's house to go eat food. Bailey, Madi's sister, brought up her new car to show off to the fam. My friends thought it would be funny to stick me in the back, close the hatch, and lock the vehicle. I thought it to be quite immature and childish but yet, I found myself climbing in and getting a photo shoot.

Once we ate lunch, and the food was settled in our stomachs, we went to do the alpine skycoaster. It was amazing and extremely fun. Madi wanted to ride with me because, and I quote, "Don't take any offense to this, but will you ride with me? Because the more weight you have, the faster you go." After much hesitation, I agreed.

The girls (Madi, Abby, and Annamarie [Madi's mom]) insisted that I go shopping with them at the outlets. I went and carried all of there bags for them as there arms comfortably got to look around for more clothes to throw onto mine. It wasn't all that bad. I had a great time having Madi and Abby spray me with cologne just to see which one they liked best.

After shopping, we went back to the G's house for dinner. I normally don't have a burger, a brat AND a steak, but it is the fourth of July. After I ate all the food that can possibly be crammed into my stomach, Grandma thought it would be funny to pull out a cake (which was very delicious).

We all sang a patriotic song (I can't remember which one) then sang "Happy Birthday" to America. Aunt Veda (Annamaries aunt who joined us for the festivities) was very confused. The whole time we're singing happy birhday, she's looking around to see who's birthday it is! When she couldn't take the confusion anymore she asks "Well who's birthday is it?" and Madi screams back "America's!"

The fireworks up in PC are spectacular! They are much bigger and better than the lame old SoJo fireworks. One of the fireworks was so great, that it decided it wanted to stay on fire and fly towards my face. I start asking Madi if that's supposed to happen. After no response was given, I decided to do a crazy trick and roll over before it lands right where my face was. I missed it by a mere 2 inches. God Bless America!

Boy was that Good, But Boy was that Filling!

Oh my. Don't you ever get that wonderful craving for something to indulge yourself in, and at the same time, you get a craving to do something stupid? Well, that was me today. Madi, Abby, and I decided we wanted to go to Jamba Juice. While there, we got this crazy craving to get a Jamba Juice, take a swig, say "Boy was that good, but boy was that filling!" then throw the jamba on the ground and watch it KER-SPLAT! Results posted below.



After our wonderful escapade at jamba, Abby had to go off to work and it started to rain. Madi and I took Abby to work and decided we wanted to go swing in the rain shower that sporadically came upon us. When that got boring, we picked lauren up and went to Madi's house. On the way, we found little baby Carter crying on the side of the road. Madi, being the mother figure that she is, made me turn around so she could talk to him. He claimed nothing was wrong, so we left.

Fear of Speeding?

Upon arriving home from church today, I was suddenly awed by this man taking his grandchild around the block on the riding lawn mower. I dashed up the stairs grabbed my phone just in time to take a video.

Apparently the child had a fear of speeding.